A Difficult Decision

I’m leaving the Falklands and I’m going home.


Since Dave died I haven’t been enjoying my work as much as I once did. Going to sea for weeks at a time is a fantastic experience when you are happy but when you are sad or grieving it can become a nightmare, trapped and alone with nothing but your own thoughts for company. I had problems on my first boat back, finding myself crying at nothing and unable to motivate myself. Just wanting to go home. I had the same problems on my second boat and came to the realisation that this wasn’t healthy.


Looking through my diary I realised I had been unhappy all year and had said in almost every entry that I wanted, I needed, to be with my family. I couldn’t deal with the grief alone. So, a week or so ago I decided that enough was enough and gave my resignation to my boss. He’s been incredibly understanding for which I’m very grateful, and I can happily report that I’ll be home at the beginning of June.


I’ve felt much better since making the decision. I can’t say happier and I’m feeling a bit nervous the closer it comes to leaving. I do love the Falklands and the friends I’ve made here and will miss it terribly, but I know I’m making the right decision. I’ve been in a kind of limbo here, unable to deal properly but unable to forget. I need to be around people who knew Dave and go to places where we went together and remember him and be able to grieve properly.

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