WTF is up with Johnny Depp?
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I
don’t normally comment on celebrities because, beyond a certain level of
rubbernecking that I think is pretty normal, I just don’t care. But the saga of
Johnny Depp, Amber Heard and their dogs has been bothering me since it began
and the latest
comments from Mr Depp have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
To
recap, for those who don’t know, Johnny Depp was filming that much awaited*
fifth instalment of the Pirates of the
Caribbean franchise in Queensland early last year. After a trip back to the
US he returned to Australia with his wife and their two dogs. The dogs were not
declared and did not go through the required quarantine procedures. They
were only ‘discovered’ when a grooming parlour posted pictures of them on
social media a few weeks after their arrival.
At
this point Agriculture
Minister Barnaby Joyce, in typically straight-talking Aussie fashion, told
Depp and Heard they either had to remove the dogs from Australia or they would
be put down. There was the usual social media outcry because the dogs were
‘cute’ but they ultimately left Australia.
The
case then went to court with Heard pleading
guilty to bringing in the dogs illegally but after recording the
most ridiculously awkward and insincere video in history somehow the charges
were dropped.
The
reason this story rankles so much is that it was all going on at the same time
as I was arranging for Huxley to come to Australia. I was recommended to use an
agent (and I will use this opportunity to praise the company I went with, PetAir UK who were absolutely fantastic) who
co-ordinated the pre-departure vaccinations, blood tests and vet checks, the
flights and the quarantine on his arrival. The reason an agent was recommended
was that the produce to bring pets into Australia is rather
involved. And rightly so.
Australia
has a unique environment, having been separated from the rest of the world
since the splitting of Gondwana, a separation that began in the Early Jurassic and was completed (from an Australian
perspective) in the Late Cretaceous (~80mya). This long isolation has led
Australia to have distinctive flora and fauna, the most obvious of which are
the iconic eucalyptus trees and the marsupial and monotreme mammals. This long
separation makes Australia vulnerable to invasion. Well-known examples include
the infamous rabbits and cane toads but just as potentially devastating are
infectious diseases that could easily harm agriculture or native species if
they were able to get a foothold.
It
is for this reason that Australia has probably the strictest biosecurity in the
world. New Zealand is similarly strict and for the same reasons – unique
ecosystems that could be devastated if pathogens were released. In 2005 Hilary
Swank was fined NZ$200 for bringing in fruit to New Zealand. The judge
heard her excuses and rejected them because there really is no excuse. So fame is not a 'get out of jail free' card.
It
is in light of all of this that I find the treatment of Depp and Heard so
baffling. During Amber Heard’s hearing,
“The court was told she had always intended to bring the dogs, which were vaccinated for rabies in 2014, to visit Depp, who was filming Pirates of the Caribbean on the Gold Coast.”
If
this was the case then there is no excuse for the paperwork “[slipping] through
the cracks”. This isn’t one form, the equivalent of forgetting to sign your
kid’s permission slip to go on the annual school trip to the box factory. This
is several months of involved paperwork to be filled out by vets and then
checked and double-checked.
This
is the bundle of paperwork that travelled with Hux:
The
judge claimed that the video made by Heard and Depp,
‘was “of far more benefit to this country” as a warning to would-be illegal importers than any conviction recorded against Heard.’
To
this I have to vehemently disagree. All this says is that there is one rule for
the rich and famous, another for the rest of us, despite Mr Joyce’s insistence
that the laws applied to everyone, regardless of status,
"If we start letting movie stars even though they've been the 'sexiest man alive' twice to come into our nation, then why don't we just break the laws for everybody?”
There
is no way that I would have been able to bring in Huxley without going through
all the necessary paperwork, vaccinations and quarantine for the simple reason that
I can’t imagine any airline carrying him without that having been done. And there is no way that, if I had somehow succeeded, the judge would allow me to make a video instead of paying the fine. Yet
Depp and Heard were able to bring their dogs in a private plane seemingly
without any competent attempt at getting things organised beforehand and
instead of being fined they got to make a ridiculously incoherent video that
has been the butt
of jokes rather than the required paean to the necessities of strict biosecurity
controls.
And Depp just cannot let things lie. He keeps
mocking the video
he and his wide made, illustrating that he does not understand the seriousness of
what they did. The video was not worth letting the charges be dropped. Fine and
video? Maybe. But video in leiu of fine? Nope. One version of the video has had
well over half a million views on YouTube and goodness
knows how many elsewhere but I sincerely doubt people are watching it and
coming away with the thought “I’d better not try and bypass Australia’s
biosecurity restrictions”. If they’re anything like me they’re thinking that
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are sore losers who don’t give a shit.
I am
not complaining that Australia has strict biosecurity. As an ecologist I
completely understand and have no problem with the laws that are in place.
What I am complaining about is that a spoilt man-child gets to treat the same
laws with impunity and instead of recognising that he’s made a massive mistake,
apologising and accepting the consequences, treats it like a silly game and
expects the world to laugh along with him. What’s even more infuriating is it
seems to be working.
*
there may be some sarcasm in this description
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