Travels of a Fish Nut

Mum and Dad went to Gibraltar the year before I was born and I was keen to go and hear mum reminisce about a time when they were a young couple without a care in the world(!). I double and triple-checked my passport's presence before setting off and we drove to La Linea de la Concepcion, the town on the Spanish side of the border. When mum was last here there was no border and travel between countries was practically impossible (I read a book by Simon Winchester called 'Outposts' written in the early '80s where he had to get a boat from Spain to Morocco and then catch another boat to Gibraltar because there was no other way of getting there). Now border control has been lessened slightly and you now only have to go through the arduous process of either queueing up to drive across or, slightly more difficult, find somewhere to park that isn't ripping you off in La Linea and walk across, waving your passport at two Customs and Immigrations guys. It was so stressful(!!...

Tuesday was supposed to be our trip to Gibraltar but somehow at the last minute it slipped my mind to bring my passport. Somehow I think I thought it would be obvious I'm British and they'd let me through. Mum didn't want to risk it (!) so we headed into the hills to Ronda instead. Ronda's one of the White Towns - towns in the hills where all the houses are whitewashed so they are very visible from a distance. Ronda's probably the largest and oldest of the towns, with large parts dating back to the times of the Moors. The town is built on the side of a gorge, which was used in times past as a quick and easy execution site (simply chuck people over the side). Now it's got fencing to prevent tourists slipping over and looks out across a vast expanse of farmland. It is possibly most famous for it's bullring - one of the oldest in Spain. I went in, mainly because mum and Steve had already gone in and I didn't want to stand around waiting half an hour for the...

Monday was a day where I got to laze by the pool and generally enjoy being on holiday while mum and Steve were subjected to the hard-sell. The only requirement for them to get the free holiday was that they had to have a tour of the complex and be subjected to a few hours of someone trying to get them to buy a timeshare. At least they got a free breakfast! We had breakfast with the rep (proper English buffet - cereal, toast, full English, etc) then I went off to the pool while they had a tour. Apparently they were taken into Fuengirola as well and shown the sights. They were gone for hours and in the end I went up to the room to find them still talking about it, despite the fact I knew mum had decided beforehand they weren't interested! Eventually they finished and we went for food at a restaurant just down the road. Then we headed out on our first proper trip. We went to Malaga. Malaga is the provincial capital of the Costa del Sol and is the second-largest city there. We arrived...

Our first day was a lazy day as none of us had had much sleep. We rendezvoused at about 11am and went back to mum and Steve’s accommodation. They were staying at a timeshare resort which was trying to sell them timeshares by giving them a free holiday (alright for some!). We had lunch at the overpriced and very unSpanish bar then sat by the pool and sunbathed. Yes, I sunbathed!! It was really hot and so nice, after living somewhere where exposing skin often meant windburn, to be able to start synthesising some much-needed vitamin D! In the evening we headed up to Mijas, a town in the hills behind Fuengirola (the town where we were staying). It’s a lovely little town. All the houses are whitewashed and there were loads of horse and carts and donkeys around, ready to take tourists for tours around the town. I’m normally a bit wary of these sorts of things as you never know if the animals are well-treated, especially in such a hot climate, but the horses all seemed very well groomed and t...

Mum and Steve had planned a holiday to the Costa del Sol for the second week in June, which was the second week I was back in the country. I didn't think I'd be ready to stay at home by myself that soon after getting back (my default activity when at home alone was to go down Dave's and I knew that every time I'd sit at home thinking 'what should I do?' the thought 'go down Dave's' would quickly be followed by a realisation that wasn't possible and would result in a flood of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with alone). So I decided to tag along to Spain! We flew from Bristol with Easyjet. It was my first time on a budget airline (having been a bit isolated from them!) and it was a lot better than I was expecting. We landed in Malaga on time. The airport was a lot larger than I was expecting and lots of the signs were in German, then Spanish followed by English. I didn’t realise it was such a popular destination with Germans but there were fli...

(written 8 July) I’ve had a bit of a painful few days and figure the best way to deal with the pain is to laugh at myself. . . I went to Slimbridge with mum, Steve, Jo and James on Sunday. We went up on the narrowboat and the weather was lovely. There were damselflies everywhere we looked, swans and swallows and all the wildlife you’d expect to see along a canal in summer. There were insects flying around the boat, including some big flies. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, my ankle suddenly felt like it was on fire. I’d been bitten by a horsefly. We didn’t have any antihistamine cream on board so I stuck my foot over the side of the boat and into the water. After the initial shock of the cold it felt at lot better. Well, if that’s the only thing that goes wrong then I don’t mind. Huh! We got to Slimbridge and waited for Jo and James to arrive. I took Bea for a short walk and on our return to the boat I felt a sharp sting on my other foot – another fly got me! Damn. Both on the ankle-line...

The second week after I got back from the Falklands I went to Spain with mum and Steve. I will do a series of posts on them soon but that was a few weeks ago and if I try and do everything in chronological order I'll get so far behind that I'll never get up to date. So the next few posts are on events that happened after we got back from Spain but the precise date doesn't really matter anyway so I'm not going to get too hung up on it.

That Thursday was the European elections and we got home early enough to go and vote. This was important to me as it was the first chance I’ve ever had of voting in person! I’ve normally done a proxy vote as I’ve been out of the country but I was finally able to put that cross in the box by myself. It was really exciting. I couldn’t believe how long the list of parties was. There were some really weird (to my mind) ones. (I’ve just found the official results online so I can be precise in the names). The funniest one was the ‘The Party for Cornwall’ who, I believe, want Cornish independence of something. I didn’t know what they were doing on a ballot in North Somerset but unbelievably they got 154 votes! Looking at the results I can say with certainty I live in a rather right-wing area. The conservatives won with 33% of the vote, then UKIP came second with 22%. Rather surprisingly, given that, the next two parties were the Lib Dems (16%) and the Greens (10%). Labour only got 7% which, g...

I had already decided on my first cultural event before I left the Falklands. I knew that there was an exhibition at the British Museum on Shah ‘Abbas, the Shah of Iran in the 17th century who was responsible for modernising the country. I really wanted to go but it closed in June which was originally going to be before I left, but with my decision to leave early I could now go. Yay! Mum and I went to London on the first Thursday in June. The exhibition was busy but not packed and was fascinating. We spent almost 2 hours there and were ‘museumed-out’ by the end. It’s a while since we went so my memory’s a bit hazy but I remember several stand-out exhibits. The first was a series of books with exquisite calligraphy. The calligraphy was in several different styles and looked more like works of art than writing. They were poems, discussing love and life and the poetry seemed good although I’m really not any good with poetry. There were several carpets which were beautifully made and, if I...

My last week in the Falklands felt quite surreal. I couldn’t believe I was leaving. It had become home and I had made a lot of good friends. It was a busy week, finishing off work and saying goodbye to people and places. On Friday we had a party. It was great fun although at 11.30pm taxis started arriving with people from town. Luckily I wasn’t drinking so had the idea of calling the taxis and telling them that it was a private party so they stopped turning off. The last people eventually left around 2am and I began the clearing up. I’ve never seen so many bottles and cans in the house and I’ve seen a few parties! On Saturday morning I got up early and finished packing. I had some breakfast and chatted with Gemma and Pablo while we waited for the bus to arrive. We picked up half a dozen people and three of them were friends who’d been at the party. It made me realise what a special place the Falklands as – where else could you know so many people so easily? I had an amazing time in the...

The next day I flew from Cusco to Santiago where I spent the next few days. I didn't do much as I was short of cash and Chilean cash machines didn't accept foreign cards. I stayed in the city and while it was nice, I didn't get an overwhelming urge to return. It's a city, like any other. The metro was excellent - clean, efficient, cheap. But apart from that the city didn't really endear itself to me. The food was too reminiscent of boat food - fried fish or meat and chips or rice - to really appeal to me, and I had trouble filling my days. There was a highlight, however. I decided to go the cinema. I'd been told that hollywood films will often be released with subtitles first and only later dubbed, so I had a look online and found a cinema close by and went and saw 'Star Trek'. It was loads of fun! I loved the film (very funny and great effects) and just being at a proper cinema eating popcorn felt so good. I couldn't remember the last time I'...

The morning of the last day arrived. I’d arranged with Marlene to go back to the canopy platform to see dawn so I had yet another ridiculously early morning. As we walked up the stairs it got lighter and lighter. It really made you realise how much light is blocked by the trees – on the forest floor we needed torches yet just 10 metres up they were superfluous. It’d difficult to take photos that do justice to the height of the tree but this one, looking down from the top, is probably the best I got. We had breakfast then went on the boat for the final time. We got to the landing strip and the plane was on time. We took off and flew over the forest, back the way we came. We could see the river and road we’d spent two and a half days travelling down. In under an hour we undid all the travelling and arrived back in Cusco. The plane was unpressurised and although the captain said he might drop the oxygen masks, they never materialised. The air was so thin and I found myself gasping at time...

Having failed to see the macaws yesterday, we had another early rise to see them today. I was up at 5, brushing my teeth by candle light when I head Marlene outside my bungalow shout my name. I came to the door, toothbrush in my mouth and she said – there’s a tapir! I said ‘I’m coming’, and quickly finished brushing and headed out the door. As I put on my wellies (the incessant rain had meant that wellies were the footwear du jour ) I found myself wondering, did she really mean tapir? Yes, she did! There, on the steps to the dining area, was a female tapir. She was called Vanessa and had been found and raised by natives. She’s now pretty much wild and has given birth several times, but every now and then wanders into the lodge in search of food. And here she was. I was allowed to stroke her. I’ve always imagined tapirs felt a bit like pigs but they don’t. The hair was smooth and reminded me more of horse than anything. A bit coarse, like a winter coat, but softer than I’d expected. Sh...

We had to be up at 5am to get to the macaw clay lick early enough. We went to the boat in the dark and headed up-river. The weather was grey and drizzling and Marlene and the other guide decided we’d try to skip the clay lick and go to an oxbow lake instead. Apparently the macaws don’t like the rain! We were able to go to the clay lick the next day so went to the lake. We had breakfast on the jetty (pancakes and maple syrup – yum!) then got on a simple catamaran. It was two canoes tied together with boarding on top, and folding chairs laid out. Two porters paddled us around so we didn’t make any noise. We were there to see giant otters, but I’ll say at the start, we didn’t see any. Seems that otters don’t like the rain either! It wasn’t a complete loss though as we saw some pretty incredible wildlife all the same. My favourites were the hoatzin. Hoatzin are a primitive-looking bird. The chicks have claws on their wings which help them climb branches, they’re poor fliers and look prehis...

We left the lodge just after breakfast and continued on our way down-river. We were travelling on motorised canoes and we were close to the water. We saw lots of shore-birds, mainly herons, storks and egrets. The river was quite calm but in the rainy season becomes very swollen. Banks are washed away and beaches are created, it’s very dynamic and the course of the river changes every year. There were lots of trees in the water, some were mostly covered by water with only a few branches poking out above the surface, while others were in shallower water and their size could be better appreciated. We were heading towards the Manu landing strip where we were to pick up another group who were flying in, then head back up-river to the Manu Wildlife Centre. When we arrived we found the plane was delayed due to fog in Lima and would be a few hours. Rather than waste my time I decided to go bug-hunting. There was a small lodge near the landing strip and in the clearings were more insects than I...

I woke in the dark and lit a candle (there was no electricity in any of the accommodation I stayed in. It was only available for the kitchen and for charging batteries for a few hours in the evenings). I dressed then headed to the road where we were meeting. It was dawn and everything was in shades of grey. Marlene and Dave (the male part of the Canadian couple) met me and we wandered up the road to the hide. The sun was rapidly rising but when we arrived at the hide the thickness of the trees meant that the sun was barely noticeable. The cock-of-the-rocks were already displaying. There were three. One would start squawking and the other two would quickly join in. They would also dance about a bit, bobbing up and down as they squawked. Then one would stop and the others would also stop. It was quite comical and very cool to see firsthand. Cock-of-the-rocks have a lek mating system. This is the same type of system as birds such as grouse. The males all get together in an area and displ...

My main reason for going to Peru was to go to the rainforest. For some reason, spending almost two years in the Falklands had led me to desire being surrounded by trees and the rainforest seemed the best way of getting my fix! I went with a company called InkaNatura and I mention them here because I’d thoroughly recommend them. There were three of us on the trip – me and a Canadian couple. The tour guide, Marlene, was a couple of years older than me and very enthusiastic and knowledgeable. It was like being shown around a favourite place by a friend. We were picked up from Cusco about 6am and headed through the Sacred Valley and into Pisac where we stopped for some bread. Then we drove on into another valley where we stopped to stretch our legs. Another valley followed which was much greener than the previous ones. We had to slow down on many occasions because of sheep or cattle wandering down the road, herded by old women. As we crested the third valley we reached a sign saying we wer...

I had two full days in Cusco. The first was spent trying to acclimatise. I decided to spend the second on a day-trip around the Sacred Valley, despite the fact I was still suffering from altitude sickness and seemed to be going down with a cold. I’m a sucker for pain! Say what you like about the Incas, but they certainly seemed to be masochists! The Sacred Valley is, as you’d imagine, a valley. Steep, barren mountain sides (these are the Andes after all) with lower flat areas in between with rivers and fertile soil. Given the choice where would you establish a village? The flat area perhaps? Seems the sensible option. Not for the Incas. Oh no, they decide to build their cities on the mountain sides, creating terraces then bringing soil from who-knows-where to make fields which require complex irrigation systems to keep them watered (but not too watered). Why???? There’s got to be a reason but I can’t see it. Maybe defence – I think the towns we went to were established quite late in th...